I feel genuinely… And deeply distraught.

I’m turning 21 this month, in a week or so actually. This month is a meaningful one…an emotional one. I’m full of feelings and thoughts but I have no one to spill them out to so they stay in my mind and I slosh them around, revisit them occasionally but they are my own and so when it becomes too much and tears spill out of my eyes and people ask me why I’m crying I can’t even say because they wouldn’t understand. You know, the generic I’m sorries and the pity/guilt face is what they’ll give me but that’s not what I’m looking for. So i’d rather just keep it to myself…so i do keep it to myself. 

and i guess what i just wrote just makes everything moot. sigh.

Expectation

Reality

(Source: oafishly)

not even you can bring me down today. better try next time.